Some years ago, I posted a video of myself demonstrating some counselling skills (the original video has now been taken down, but other videos are available here and here). I always think there’s a dearth of videos out there demonstrating real counselling practice, so I wanted to post something of what it can really look like (even if it was with an actor). Problem is, reviewing it, I had to watch myself a few times, and like most of us it was a pretty unbearable experience:
I’m wearing a winter jacket when I open the door inside the house. Doh!
Why do I always look so serious? I look like I’m frowning, or sitting on spike. Jeez, lighten up!
‘It sounds like…’ ‘It sounds like…’ It sounds like I’ve got about four phrases I repeat over and over again.
Profile view definitely not my best angle.
‘So…’ Is it possible for me to start a sentence without ‘so’?
So can I ever actually finish a sentence without changing tack half way through.
It’s a bit cognitive, isn’t it. I wish I could have given more space for feelings to emerge, or find ways of helping the client go deeper into his emotions.
Stomach. I was pretty chubby as a kid, and still get shudders at the sight of it.
I can’t even get my pronouns right on the captions: ‘Rob’… ‘they’re…’ ???
‘It feels like…’ another stock phrase I just seem to repeat incessantly.
Is it too meandering? Or perhaps not meandering enough?
I’ve got so many cables behind me. Looks like I’m sitting in an electric chair.
And a few things I do quite like:
Black polo shirt.
I smile sometimes.
I think I’m listening, pretty intensely, and conveying that understanding back.
I guess a few of the summaries draw together things pretty well.
Nice watch. I never wear a watch, just for this video.
Bringing it into the ‘here and now’ [26.02]
My silver chain. Bought that for myself a few years ago and stopped wearing it. Shiny.
We get somewhere in the sessions. I think. It’s only a demonstration, but does illustrate a few things that seem to be helpful in therapy.
Having said that, if there’s one thing more depressing than seeing myself on video, it’s seeing how narcissistic and superficial my comments on seeing myself on video are!
Anyhow, if you’re on a training counselling or psychotherapy course, and cringing as you listen to—or watch—yourself for practice recordings, it may be reassuring to know you are definitely not alone.